Category: Lists

Matt's End of Summer Favorites Part 2: Movies

8/22/2015

Hello dear readers, and welcome once again to my month-long series of mini-lists about some of my favorite things about summer. Already I've already discussed some of my favorite tabletop games that I enjoy on a hot summer day in, but today I'm going to be covering one of my favorite topics in the world: movies.

And in this day and age, what says summer movies more than superhero movies? So yes, today's list, dear readers, is all about...

MATT'S 10 FAVORITE
SUPERHERO MOVIES

Now I hear you asking, "Hey, Matt, 10 movies isn't a mini-list, that's just a list, what gives?" Well, imaginary reader, I'm glad you asked. I'm doing 10 entries on this list because in this day and age, there are two types of superhero movies: Marvel Cinematic Universe films, and everyone else. Unfortunately for the "everyone else" set, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is kind of dominating these days, with their reliable, if usually cookie-cutter, blend of action and wit. So, for the sake of fairness, I've broken this up into two mini lists of five entries each, five from the MCU, and five from everyone else. So first off, let's hit Marvel:

MCU FILMS

5. Thor

Are there better films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Undoubtedly, but the charm of Chris Hemsworth as the God of Thunder in need of some humbling and the layered portrayal of Loki from Tom Hiddleston will always make this an underrated favorite of mine. Also, gotta love the out of nowhere choice of Kenneth Branagh to direct.

4. Iron Man 2

It's possible my wife and I are the only two people who actually like this movie, and I'm fine with that. Taking a darker look at what being a superhero will do to you without losing the Marvel charm, this one may not be one of the most fun Marvel's done, but it's always been a favorite.

3. Guardians of the Galaxy

And from the last film's darkness we go to probably the out and out silliest of the Marvel films. There are so many reasons this one shouldn't have worked, but again, a solid ensemble, a crazy script for them to work off of, and charm to spare (plus a killer soundtrack), make this one of the greats. Keep the fast forward button handy for the villain, though. You can completely skip over his plotline and not miss much.

2. Ant-Man

A strong contender for my # 1, but it's still new so I can't go that far just yet, this is some of the most fun I have ever had at a movie theatre. It's enjoyable from start to finish, witty, and not bogged down too heavily by all the mythologizing that Marvel's famous for. Extra points for making ants (my personal archnemesis at home) cute, and for being a lot better than it should have been given it's troubled production. And hilarious. It's very much that too.

I want there to be a sequel to this so we can see Evangeline Lilly as Wasp, because her character is awesome.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

See, Marvel tends to work best when they're doing genres that aren't superhero movies (i.e. Guardians as space opera, Ant-Man as a heist film), and they swung for the fences by making the second Captain America film a 70's conspiracy film, complete with Robert Redford, and scored perhaps their best film. Dealing with matters of trust and government oversight, as well as the personal issues that would arise for a man out of time by more than 70 years, it's one of Marvel's darkest while still maintaining that fun that separates these movies from DC.

Extra points to them pulling off Falcon as one of the coolest new heroes on screen.

THE "EVERYONE ELSE" SUPERHERO FILMS

5. Unbreakable

Ah, back in the day when the name M. Night Shyamalan was something to get excited over. This understated, weird, slow little take on the superhero movie is perhaps too meditative, and would have better made a 15 minute origin story for a much more impressive movie, but it's got some interesting deconstructive points even with its flaws I've always liked.

4. Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

The DC Animated Universe is the gold standard in non-print superhero fiction. With deep, adult storylines, solid writing and amazing voice casts, it comes about as close as anything to being a truly definitive superhero adaptation. The strange coda of all these connected series' is a short-lived series called Batman Beyond, about an aged Batman training his newest protégé in the future. The series never really had an ending, but the direct-to-DVD followup, Return of the Joker, does it pretty well. The Batmen go up against Gotham's most dangerous criminal, back from the dead, in one of the darkest and most violent cartoons aimed at kids I've ever seen.

Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill have never been better as Batman and Joker.

3. Kick-Ass

It's nihilistic and cartoonishly violent, and not always in a good way, however this story of a teenaged kid in a real world trying to be a superhero is still alternately heartwarming and poignant, in its own weird way. Then there's Hit-Girl, one of the coolest characters ever put to screen.

2. The Dark Knight

I'll never call Christian Bale and Heath Ledger the definitive Batman and Joker (see Return of the Joker, above, for the true title-holders), but they do a damn good job, and this is an amazing movie. Walking out of the theatre the first time, I just remember thinking to myself, "Yeah, that was basically The Godfather of superhero movies". Ledger earned his Oscar, in a scary, scary performance.

1. The Incredibles

But while The Dark Knight is great, The Incredibles are the true champions in the superhero movie front. Pixars loving homage to the silver age of comics (plus a really sly remake of Watchmen aimed at kids) is a strong contender for the greatest superhero movie ever made. It's bright and colorful, while still morally complex, finding the balance of tones that most modern superhero films have completely forgotten even exists. It has some of the greatest animated performances by a perfectly eclectic cast (Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee, Samuel L. Jackson), and yet the show is almost stolen by a 3-foot-tall designer of superhero costumes. Edna Mode, you are possibly the funniest character in a Pixar movie.

NO! CAPES!

God I love this movie.

Agree? Disagree? What are your favorite superhero movies? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 1, Flashman

2/28/2015

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Hello dear readers, and welcome back to my month long celebration of fictional characters who just don't have a handle on that whole "romance" thing. Yes, this month my list is dedicated to characters who are inept, unlucky, and or just flat-out awful human beings when it comes to love, but who still entertain me anyway. Already on our list we've had a visit from a Disney "prince" (# 5) a classic romantic comedy sleazeball (# 4), possibly the greatest/worst dad in sitcom history (# 3) and a career path that seems to attract the worst romantic offenders (# 2), but in the interest of keeping things moving, let's move onto the number 1 entry on this list.

Yes, the # 1 spot is taken up by my favorite agent of the British Crown. He's a globetrotting, alcohol-slugging, troublemaking and yes, of course, womanizing scoundrel responsible for saving the world and often shaping its history in the name of Queen and Country.

No, not this guy.

Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the one and only Sir Harry Paget Flashman.

This guy, the one with the face so desperately in need of a fist.

Now for those unfamiliar with The Flashman Papers series, I guess I should offer a little background. Harry Flashman originates as a character in Thomas Hughes' Tom Brown's School Days as a school bully who ultimately gets kicked out for being a drunkard. I haven't read the book but he doesn't sound like the most consequential character. However, in 1969, novelist George MacDonald Fraser took hold of the character and decided to make him into a "hero" of a series of historical novels, where Flashman has adventures throughout pretty much every important event in the British Empire in the last half of the 19th century, often shaping history as he went.

Kind of like Forrest Gump.

However, instead of molding Flashman into any kind of hero, Fraser makes him into the polar opposite. Flashman as a character is an utter coward and toady, driven almost entirely by pettiness, greed and his own lust.

So, more like the gritty reboot of Forrest Gump. With British accents.

As an officer in the British Empire, Flashman often finds himself in the frontlines of some of the greatest conflicts in history, usually do to his own accidental machinations. A shotgun wedding forces him into the First Anglo-Afghan War. Powerful flatulence from bad champagne allows him to survive the Charge of the Light Brigade. A card game he tries to rig leads to him becoming, in the course of one book, a member of the African slave trade, a pimp, a member of the Underground Railroad, a plantation overseer, a slave, a runaway slave and a friend of Abraham Lincoln.

He's led an interesting life is what I'm trying to illustrate.

He is a coward of the highest degree, and in the end this is what makes him into a hero. While braver soldiers are running off to die for England, Flashman is usually somewhere hiding or surrendering or taking a cheap shot at the enemy that somehow saves the day. His ability as a consummate survivor combined with the fact that he is usually the *only* survivor in any given conflict makes him into a national hero, more decorated than nearly any soldier in British history.

So, enough background on the man. Just why does he make this list?

Stuff like this.

There's only one way you can really describe Flashman's love-life: he will screw anything that moves. And I mean just about anything. Though in his later life he admitted to preferring sleeping with royalty, that won't stop him from bedding any woman who crosses his path (including many, many prostitutes) to a point where when imprisoned at one point in his later years he estimates having been with 497 women, though considering how often he is drunk and forgets things that number may be even higher.

And did I mention he was married during all this? No? Well, he is. While stationed in Scotland he seduces the less-than-bright daughter of a powerful merchant, Elspeth, and is forced into a shotgun marriage with her. It was either that, or dueling, and since he doesn't want to chance getting hurt in a duel... well, you get the picture.

Yup, more face in need of a fist.

He even marries women no fewer than three times during the course of his marriage to Elspeth, usually to get out of a jam (and twice in the course of one book, once to a middle-aged Madame and once to an Apache princess).

If he was just an irredeemable cad like this, I wouldn't be able to stand him as a character, but here's the thing that makes Flashman so entertaining for me (especially when it comes to love): whenever he does something awful, something at least two or three times as awful happens to him in retaliation. His lust for Lola Montez leads to him being blackmailed by Otto von Bismarck into pretending he's actually a member of Danish royalty (for a coup, of course). His jealousy over his wife's flirtations with a mysterious businessman (ignoring his own affairs, of course) leads to her being kidnapped by pirates and his being kidnapped by the mad queen of Madagascar, Ranavalona.

And of course, his biggest romance gone horribly awry happened when falling in with a traveling band of prostitutes on their way to the California gold rush. One quite fell for him, and he enjoyed his time with. However, wanting to escape the situation and needing the money, he sold her for $2,000 dollars. Decades later, she came for her revenge by kidnapping him and selling him to the Sioux for torture and execution. While he escaped before the last part could happen, he was partially scalped and nearly killed at the Battle of Little Bighorn.

He's always had an odd relationship with the Americas.

There are a million reasons I should hate Flashman. He is awful, he is stupid, and he is, well, are there any more synonoums for awful? No, I think I'm just going to call him awful again. He's terrible to women and everyone around him (while being slightly less racist for his time than many in the Empire). And yet, in spite of all this, he is one of the funniest damn characters I have ever read for how much he suffers for all of his flaws and as one of the greatest examples of the whole principle of "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction".

He is an anti-hero in the extreme, in that any heroism on his part is purely incidental, and for that he will never cease to make me laugh.

So dear readers, are there any other Flashman fans out there? Who are some of your favorite unromantic characters? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 3, Homer Simpson

2/19/2015

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Yes, I know Homer appeared on a list I did last year of favorite romances (available here for your clicking pleasure). And yes, he and Marge can be incredibly sweet.

You did note the "can" in that last sentence, right? Good. Because it's kind of important to this article. Because as sweet as Homer can be with Marge, he is also exceedingly awful at this whole romance thing.

Visible here in Homer's one love letter to Marge.

To try to do a thorough analysis of all of Homer Simpson's romantic failings would take far more time and data than this blog can adequately support (especially given the number of seasons this show's been around, and how many of them I haven't even seen), so I'm going to have to go through something of a "greatest hits" approach to talking about his flaws.

First off we have Homer's general selfishness and insensitivity towards Marge. This usually manifests itself in simple ways on the show, usually through Homer taking a dangerous and wildly irresponsible job he is in no way qualified for in defiance of Marge.

Amazingly, getting shot by a cannon in a traveling freak show is one of the less dangerous of these jobs he's taken on.

However, this carelessness has manifested itself in a number of even more destructive acts over the years. In one of my favorite episodes, "A Streetcar Named Marge", Homer spends pretty much the entire episode belittling and ignoring Marge's passion for the stage to a level that borders on abuse. Another episode had him nearly destroy their marriage after divulging the secrets of his and Marge's marriage to impress a class he's been teaching on how to have a successful relationship. Even worse, in the classic "Life on the Fast Lane", Homer's lack of care towards Marge's birthday (getting her a present he meant to use for himself, which is apparently a trend) nearly forces Marge into the arms of another man.

Then again, a charming Frenchman voiced by Albert Brooks would be hard to resist, I imagine.

Then of course we have his forgetfulness and overall laziness toward his relationship with Marge. Time and again he has mentioned that they are together out of habit and dependence. This is particularly evident around the holidays, as he tends to completely forget every major holiday, birthday and anniversary that he should get something for Marge for.

Though truth be told, it may be for the best, because when he does remember holidays he tends to halfass things or go completely insane. In the episode "I'm With Cupid", when Apu starts outdoing all the men of Springfield at celebrating Valentines, Homer goes completely ballistic, taking on a number of destructive acts up to including crashing a plane and kidnapping Elton John, just so he won't have to look so bad for failing at romancing his wife.

Though since it gave us the hilarious image of Elton John crammed into a dog carrier, I'll let this one slide.

And finally, well, there is the sheer number of times that Homer has almost cheated on Marge (which I know she's come close a fair handful of times too, but still, not cool). How this happens is something of a miracle considering how awful Homer is most of the time, and usually a fair amount of fate and bad luck is involved, and yes, he always finds his way, never goes too far and always comes back to Marge in the end, but he shouldn't let it keep getting this close!

I don't care how great Mindy is, this shouldn't have happened, Homer!

So why do I still like Homer so much? Because in true sitcom fashion, he nearly always realizes what he's done wrong in the end and tries his damnedest to fix it. He's not a perfect man, and he's one of the first to admit it, but his love for Marge is real, and with his back pushed up against the wall he's willing to do anything to prove it. His back shouldn't need to be pushed up against the wall as often as it is, but at his core he's a good-hearted, lovable oaf and a devoted husband and father.

Well, when he's not doing this, at least.

So dear readers, who else loves Homer, despite his flaws? Who are some of your favorite unromantic characters? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 4, Pat Healy (There's Something About Mary)

2/12/2015

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(And yes, I am aware I did this movie for my February list last year, please feel free to check out my entry for then with full back story of the first time I saw it here.)

There's Something About Mary may very well be the hardest I've ever laughed at a movie in a theatre. It's got raunch. It's got slapstick. It's got one helluva cast. Those are the easy things to pick out, the easy things a 13-year-old can appreciate. But the more I watch it as an adult, the more I can see that it has, at its core, a truly sweet center of a classic love story. It just happens to be wrapped in jokes about stalking, the mentally handicapped, animal cruelty...

And genital mutilation, to name a few.

But what earns it a place on this list is one of my all-time favorite movie sleazeballs:

Meet Pat Healy.

There's Something About Mary is the simple story of an amazing girl named Mary who's beloved by all the men around her. Perhaps too beloved, as most of them seem to be stalking her. From shoe-obsessed lunatics to men lying about being crippled to elderly dock workers with sniper rifles, she seems to attract a lot of crazies.

And Brett Favre, though at the time he was meant to be wholesome.

One of the few decent guys after her is Ted (Ben Stiller), a sweet guy who Mary asked to prom due to his sweetness and bravery (and braces.)

Dear god, the braces...

After the aforementioned genital mutilation scene ruins their date, Mary moves away and Ted thinks he's lost her forever. Still, unable to stop thinking about her, he takes the advice of a friend (who SPOILER ALERT is also incidentally stalking Mary) and hires private investigator Pat Healy (Matt Dillon).

Showing off his new dental work here.

While clearly sleazy, Pat is a professional at first and thoroughly investigates Mary for Ted. Unfortunately for all involved, Pat soon sees how awesome Mary is and realizes he wants to be with her too. Considering all the information he's already collected on her about what she likes, he molds himself into her ideal man. A jet-setting, world-traveling architect who loves all of god's creatures and enjoys nothing more than working with the mentally disabled, just like Mary.

The only problem is, he is absolutely none of these things. Even worse, he's a really lousy liar. He constantly contradicts himself, doesn't have any backup plan for when his lies are inevitably discovered, and jumps to some strange places when it comes to solving problems.

Like drugging a dog into liking him only to have to resuscitate it with an electrical wire.

Or cheating at checkers against a mentally handicapped person.

For money.

And that is why they call me Kin Tan Tee!

He is just so utterly awful and smarmy and destructive toward anything that he touches that he can't help but be hilariously awful. Topped off with Matt Dillon's pitch perfect performance mixing smarminess and cheap desperation, and Pat Healy couldn't not be on this list.

Even if he still can't make change for all those Nepalese coins.

So dear readers, who else loves There's Something About Mary? Who are some of your favorite unromantic characters? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 5, The Beast

2/5/2015

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Hello dear readers, and welcome back for the first list I've done since... let's see... August? Is that right? No, that can't be. Wait, no, yes, it is. Wow. Sorry about that. Time and book releases and holidays and various other excuses I can list here kind of got out of hand, didn't they?

Sad Smiley does not approve of such excuses.

Well, for the few of you who stuck around in the hopes of seeing another of my semi-comedic lists praising and/or disassembling various pieces of pop-culture, you're in luck! Because I'm back, and while I cannot claim to be better than ever (since I'm probably about the same as where I was last time), I intend to keep this ball rolling.

So, without further ado, let's get this February list going!

Being that I am a big fan of low-hanging fruit, I thought about dedicating this month's list to some of my favorite romantic pieces of pop-culture, what with that holiday whose name escapes me popping up at some point during this month. I think it's that one that involves shooting people in the heart with arrows.

Like this.

However, figuring this was a little too easy, I decided to give myself a bit of a challenge, and so I have decided to dedicate this month's celebration to my favorite anti-romantic characters in fiction. What makes a character anti-romantic? Well, to get on this list, it would help if you were utterly incompetent in the arts of love, are often mistaken for romantic when you are anything but, have extreme misfortune when love is concerned, or are an irredeemable cad.

As well, it'll help if I enjoy their particular fiction, so while I know a lot of great ones will be missing, these are the five that leaped to mind when this list came around. So, without further ado, let us get to entry # 5...

It's no secret I'm a huge fan of Disney films, at least those made in the past 25 years (some exceptions included, yes, that means you Atlantis: The Lost Empire), and though I tend to favor a lot of their more recent stuff strictly for their more modern and well-rounded writing styles, it's hard not to enjoy the charms of The Little Mermaid, Aladdin or The Lion King. It's also hard not to laugh at how terribly dated and still a little behind the times their messages are.

Enter Beauty & The Beast

You may be our guest, but please do not be too loud a guest, lest our master murder us all!

Beauty & The Beast is the classic love story of a monster who kidnaps a young girl, holds her prisoner until she loves him, then proves that he was hot all along which is apparently A-OK with his former prisoner. Disney does a little better with it than you might expect (as a Best Picture nomination and the ability to still make me tear up at the end can attest), but the backbone of it still remains. While he proves that he can be a decent guy (not the can be part of that phrase) when he really tries, for much of the movie The Beast is a monster. He holds Belle prisoner, threatens to starve her if she won't spend time with him, and if his room full of tattered furniture is any indication, he's probably murdered a lot of his transformed servants.

But really, he's a sweet guy underneath.

You don't have to look far online for many articles about how messed up this movie is, from Beast's abusive nature to how Belle Stockholm Syndrome's herself into loving Beast, but not quite (note that she never goes far enough to actually learn his real name), so I'm going to take a different angle and go on my favorite messed-up trait of this otherwise fairy tale romance:

Unlike most love-in-spite-of-circumstances kinds of movies where two combative characters gradually fall in love, Beauty & The Beast throws in a fun little asterisk to this mystical curse that makes the Beast who he is: a time limit. See, he's destined to remain the Beast if he can't fall in love, and have someone reciprocate, by his 21st birthday. While ostensibly added to the story to give a sense of drama, since what's more dramatic than a ticking clock, this time limit really adds an asterisk to the Beast's love for Belle. He has mentally prepared himself for the last ten years (if "Be Our Guest" is any indication, and I choose not to disbelieve a word of that catchy, catchy song) to find a girl to fall in love with, and, well, it makes one wonder if his quick love for Belle comes entirely from genuine affection or if he's got some unconscious awareness that he needs to make this happen if he wants to be a human again.

So, in his way he's kind of trying to find a magical marriage green card, except this green card violently transforms his body instead of preventing him from getting kicked out of the country.

And yet, despite its twisted love story of kidnapping, torture and multi-directional Stockholm Syndrome that will likely involve the characters breaking up shortly after the end credits after they realize how messed up all this was (unless Belle's shallow enough to stick around now that he's hot and she's rich for having married him, which does kind of defeat the purpose of the movie), this movie still manages to be rather sweet and fun and a personal favorite.

Damn you Disney for making this work somehow.

And it has Gaston, easily the funniest, and possibly one of the scariest, of Disney villains.

So dear readers, who else loves Beauty & The Beast in spite of (or perhaps because of) it's many flaws? Who are some of your favorite unromantic characters? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 1, The Thing

9/1/2014

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Hello dear readers, and welcome back to my (almost) monthlong countdown of favorite alien moments in pop culture. Fiona and I have dedicated our blogs this month to this topic in honor of the upcoming release of our book, The Prospero Chronicles: Splinters, available where books are sold on September 23, 2014.

For one last time on this list, glory in the cover, and it's hyperlink to Amazon!

Already this month I have dedicated an entry to Orson Welles' classic rendition of War of the Worlds (# 5), The Iron Giant, a.k.a. the saddest movie about an alien befriending a young boy not directed by Stephen Spielberg (# 4), the original Star Wars (# 3), and to a favorite episode of The Twilight Zone (# 2), but today I'm going to talk about my favorite scene from my favorite horror movie of all time:

Hey, this looks kinda familiar...

We had a lot of pop culture influences shape and help us design The Prospero Chronicles, but easily the most important was John Carpenter's 1982 adaptation of The Thing. The shapeshifting, body-stealing aliens, the constant paranoia where you couldn't know who for sure was human and who was going to violently transform and take you over. Obviously we did our own spins on the idea and took it in our own directions, but The Thing was always a constant presence (all the more impressive since it's not exactly Fi's favorite movie.)

Not even the magnificent power of Kurt Russell's hat-beard combo could win that battle.

I could go on for a pretty long while about how and why I love this movie, but since I've already done this (and it would make for a pretty damn long article), I'm going to direct you to my entry from my Halloween countdown from last year where I counted down my 31 favorite horror movies here.

And so, instead, I will dedicate this incredibly short entry (by my standards) to my favorite scene.

Not this one, sadly, though it is an awesome scene anyway.

The scientists and roughnecks working US Outpost 31 in Antarctica have already discovered the remnants of a violent, shapeshifting alien lifeform that can take over any organism, copy them, and when threatened transform using any number of parts its absorbed from any number of previous organisms in the galaxy.

Including this lovely... thing.

Incredibly smart and capable of copying humans and their memories perfectly, it has started turning the station staff against each other, singling out people who could be a threat to it (namely, Kurt Russell, because he's the goddamn Kurt Russell). After starting a fight between the men, one falls down, unconscious, apparently having a heart attack. When the station's doctor tries to revive him, things don't go exactly as planned.

I could more or less describe this scene frame by frame, but why do that when we've got the power of Youtube? (WARNING: For those who haven't seen this movie or have weak stomachs, this scene's kinda grisly, has some pretty awesome/a little cheesy 80's effects, and one of the most appropriate uses of an F-word in movie history.)

Seriously, try telling me that "You gotta be fuckin' kidding!" isn't the most appropriate thing to say at that moment.

So dear readers, any other fans of The Thing out there? Have any favorite alien moments in fiction? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 2, The Twilight Zone - "The Invaders"

8/24/2014

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Hello dear readers, and welcome back to my monthlong countdown of favorite alien moments in pop culture. Fiona and I have dedicated our blogs this month to this topic in honor of the upcoming release of our book, The Prospero Chronicles: Splinters, available where books are sold on September 23, 2014.

A book with a cover so awesome, you feel compelled to click on it and pre-order from Amazon.
What, you don't? Why not? All the cool kids are doing it.

Already this month I have dedicated an entry to Orson Welles' classic rendition of War of the Worlds (# 5), The Iron Giant, a.k.a. the saddest movie about an alien befriending a young boy not directed by Stephen Spielberg (# 4), and to the original Star Wars (# 3), but today I'm going to talk about one of the greatest, creepiest shows of all time:

God, what hasn't already been said about The Twilight Zone? I mean, like any anthology series, it was hit or miss at the best of times, but man when it hit it was some of the greatest, most iconic television in history, with villains and monsters that can still terrify to this day.

Including, but not limited to, reasons to fear flying...

...Chucky's Grandma...

...and my vote for the scariest villain on TV.

Of course, being a scifi/horror show of the 1950's and 60's, a lot of its plots were based around aliens and flying saucers, and there truly are a lot of classic (and not-so-classic) episodes based on them. The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street and Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up? taught us that aliens could be hiding anywhere, while To Serve Man taught us that sometimes it might be best to translate mysterious texts before turning over all of our trust to a bunch of giant aliens.

But they look so trustworthy!

But for my money, my favorite alien-based episode of The Twilight Zone would have to be The Invaders.

The Invaders is one of the simplest and creepiest episodes of The Twilight Zone. It only has one actress onscreen for it's 20-something minute runtime, almost no dialogue, and a constant, building terror that, if extended to feature length, would have made this an 80's horror classic.

It stars the awesome Agnes Moorehead as a single, elderly woman living out in a farm in the middle of the country. She lives a simple, quiet life, until one day she hears a strange noise and a crash into her attic. Examining the sound, she finds a flying saucer, as well as the titular invaders.

These creepy-looking guys.

The rest of the episode is a bloody, violent fight to the death between this farmer and these two well-armed aliens. If it sounds like a mismatched 1960's version of Die Hard, well, I think there's something else I should mention to give the full picture.

There's a bit of a size disparity between the two sides.

Even though she's easily twenty times the size of the invaders, they are determined and heavily armed with small but powerful laser weapons. It's a slow escalation, with the woman first initially scared and trying to run from the aliens, but slowly and gradually beginning to fight back, forcing the invaders themselves into a more desperate fight than they were clearly expecting.

And for those of you who don't want spoilers on a 50 year old TV show episode's twist ending, consider this a SPOILER ALERT:

By the end of the episode, the woman has killed both invaders and smashed their flying saucer to bits with an ax. It is at this moment that we hear the first non-Rod Serling dialogue of the episodes as one of the invaders sends a last desperate transmission to his homeworld, warning them of a planet of hostile giants, right as we see the insignia on the crushed flying saucer reading US Air Force.

Cheesy? Yes, but damn is it good, creepy fun.

So dear readers, what's your favorite episode of The Twilight Zone? Have any favorite alien moments in fiction? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 3, Star Wars

8/17/2014

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There's something hiding in this picture. Hint: It's a hyperlink to Amazon.

Already this month I have dedicated an entry to Orson Welles' classic rendition of War of the Worlds (# 5) and to The Iron Giant, a.k.a. the saddest movie about an alien befriending a young boy not directed by Stephen Spielberg (# 4), but today I'm going to talk about one of the all time classics.

A poster so awesome, you can ignore the fact that Luke and Leia don't look a thing like Luke and Leia.

I don't have to go into a lot of detail about this one, do I? Star Wars kind of speaks for itself, and enough words have been expended on it's merits and flaws and creator on the internet that I don't really have to add too terribly much to it. What I will say, is that it's the first movie I can remember watching. I was maybe three years old, right after dad and I had moved to California. He picked up a copy of it from the video store (I think they were just coming out on VHS at the time, but don't quote me), popped it in, and I was hooked.

I'd never seen anything so amazing, so awe-inspiring, that my three-year-old mind was blown.

Mostly by realizing I'd never be as cool as Han Solo.

Nearly three decades later and I still count it among my favorite film series. I spent most of middle school as a full-blown Star Wars nerd, watching the films obsessively and memorizing every little random detail about background characters, droids and vehicles that I could look up on this new-fangled internet thing. I, like so many others, eagerly awaited the prequels, but unlike so many others I actually really enjoyed them.

Though even I know better than to try and defend Jar Jar's existence. I really can't.

I imagine I've always been an odd duck Star Wars fan in that way. I like the prequels, while being able to admit their problems (even Episode 1 has its points, and acting aside, Episode 3 is amazing). I've never gotten the appeal of The Empire Strikes Back. And perhaps most blasphemous of all... I even love the Special Editions.

We'll get back to you later, Greedo.

But the one thing I think a lot of Star Wars fans can agree with me on, is my personal favorite scene in the original trilogy:

Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

In every fantasy series you're going to get one scene where the hero is introduced to the big, fantastical world that he will soon be a part of, and Mos Eisley set the gold standard. While previous scenes in the movies had introduced us mostly to humans and a few uniform races, in Mos Eisley we get a great alien mixing pot of some dangerous, bizarre and awesomely whimsical aliens, like...

Batboy with see-through eye action!

The greatest band in the universe!

The Wolfman! (who has the magical power to change into a giant lizard)

Satan himself!

And my two personal favorites, Momaw Nadon (a.k.a. that hammerhead alien)

And this mysterious pair of alien knees that just randomly walks past, now framing the most stoned looking droid on Tatooine.

I could go on about this scene at length (especially the hours I spent back in the day learning the names of every character in the cantina, including each individual member of the band), but I think I'm just going to let this article end with the scene speaking for itself. For all the cantina goodness, untouched by Special Edition hands, cue up the clip to 4:30 and enjoy! Try not to get the song stuck in your head.

So dear readers, do I really have to ask if there are any other Star Wars fans out there? Have any favorite alien moments in fiction? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 4, The Iron Giant

8/10/2014

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Why look, this picture happens to hyperlink to Amazon!

Already this month I have dedicated an entry to Orson Welles' classic rendition of War of the Worlds (# 5), but today I'm going to talk about a decidedly more family-friendly story of alien contact, about a young boy who befriends a lost alien. I am, of course, talking about...

I'd never seen this poster before Google searching it today, and already it is one of my favorites.

Bet by that description you were thinking I was talking about E.T., weren't you? Well, assuming of course you just stumbled across my blog and didn't happen to read the title of this particular list entry. But still, if you were thinking E.T. would show up on this list, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Cool bikes, though.

Nothing against the movie, of course, it's as expertly-crafted as any mid-80's Spielberg movie, but I never really made the emotional connection with it that pretty much every other kid of my generation did. In fact, I've found more successful emotionally manipulative movies as an adult than I ever did as a kid, which either means I had a thicker skin back then (unlikely) or probably didn't pay as much attention to things like that then as I do now (likely). Which might be why I have a lot more fun now watching kids movies than I ever did as a kid, as its allowed me to discover some true gems.

Like this guy.

Be warned, I'm going to give a fair SPOILER ALERT for the rest of this entry.

The Iron Giant is a wonderfully odd little film. A callback to B-movies of the 1950's (even setting itself during the period), it's a smart film about a young boy who befriends a giant, amnesiac robot who may actually be the vanguard of a coming alien invasion. It's a great movie about friendship and hate and paranoia with a fairly adult script. Naturally it bombed at the box office, because the studio didn't know how to market it, and because it was a smart animated movie not released by Pixar so people didn't really care.

Seriously, it's a movie with a pipe-smoking commie hunter for a villain, this isn't exactly an easy sell to 90's kids.

If you haven't seen it, you really should because it really is one of the best family films of the last 20 years. You should also probably ignore the second half of this article, because that's when that SPOILER ALERT I put in earlier really comes into play.

If you have seen it, well, you probably know what moment from the film I'm going to highlight here.

The majority of the film is made up of the friendship between the titular Iron Giant and the unfortunately named earth boy, Hogarth. He discovers the giant in the woods one night, and realizing that he's basically a big, scared kid (that sounds a lot like Vin Diesel), decides to protect him and be his friend. They share adventures, hide from government agents, and in general have the sorts of fun kids had before the internet ruined everything.

Ultimately it is revealed that the Giant was actually a very powerful, and very dangerous weapon sent from another world to enslave the Earth, but a bump on the head rendered him amnesiac and adorable.and only occasionally a killing machine.

The kind less kid-friendly movies are made of.

Hogarth successfully teaches the Giant that it doesn't have to be a gun, that it can be just like Superman, and everything is OK, for a while at least.

Then the government guys come back and, well, one thing leads to another and this happens.

Hogarth is knocked unconscious in the fray. Thinking him dead, the Giant goes on a rampage, destroying several army units, and causing the paranoid government agent who'd been following him throughout the movie to order a nuclear strike. Realizing that Hogarth is still alive, the Giant deactivates his weapons. Also realizing that the nuclear weapon will kill Hogarth, the military, and the entire surrounding small town, he bids goodbye to his friend, takes off and sacrifices himself to destroy the missile.

If this weren't tear-jerky enough, he has one last word on his giant steel lips before dying.

"Superman."

I know I cry pretty easy, but this moment gets right into the heart-ripping-out territory, and I will always love it for that (even discounting the fact that he is clearly alive, if in pieces at the end, and possibly remembering his original mission, leaving a very depressing/gritty sequel where he enslaves Earth.)

So dear readers, has anyone else teared up at the end of The Iron Giant? Have any favorite alien moments in fiction? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 5, Orson Welles' War of the Worlds

8/3/2014

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Hello dear readers, and welcome to my August list. We're going to be doing something a little different this month. While I normally try to tie my lists either to something related to the month or (on rarer occasions) writing in general, Fiona and I have decided to dedicate our blog lists this month to the upcoming release of our book The Prospero Chronicles: Splinters, available where books are sold on September 23, 2014.

Subtle ad, no?

While there are a number of topics related to the book that would have made excellent pop-culture lists, we decided that this month we were going to go basic and dedicate August to our favorite uses of aliens in pop culture.

These guys.

Since aliens come in many shapes and sizes and temperaments (just as our titular Splinters do), and we are big sci-fi and horror junkies, we thought this would be an excellent topic to end summer on a high note with and a great lead-in to our upcoming book (OK, I think that's enough ads for one day). So, without further ado, I kick off my list with my number five moment:

Ever since I was little, my dad has always been trying to give me an appreciation for the power of radio. Having grown up on it, and worked in it for decades, and having met his wife and my mom because of it, I can understand why he might have a fondness for the medium. While this would be a great moment for me to make one of the many cracks at how old my dad is, I gotta admit, he does have a point. Well done radio (especially the long-lost art of radio fiction) has a power that few other storytelling mediums have. Like a good written story, it makes you use your imagination to fill in the images. Like a good movie, it has the benefit of multiple voices, actors emoting, and the ever-important timing.

So basically, if you get the right story together, with the right audience, and the right minds behind the scenes putting it all together, you can get something truly special.

Especially if this guy is one of the maniacs behind the scenes.

H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds is a classic of science fiction for a reason, as it is basically the archetype for all modern alien invasion stories. While it doesn't hold up particularly well in this day and age and has one of the biggest deus ex machina endings in the history of fiction (albeit one that is ridiculously realistic, as anyone who has traveled internationally can attest), it has rightfully been adapted a number of times. The cheesy 1953 version, while having some ridiculous dialogue and staging, is one of the true scifi classics of the period (and was probably in my Top 5 favorite movies when I was 6), while Stephen Spielberg's 2005 adaptation not only gave Tom Cruise one of his best excuses to run really fast yet, but was also one of the most legitimately creepy non-horror films of the last decade.

However, put the story in the hands of a shameless self-promoter with an evil grand scheme for publicity and, well, you get something people are still talking about 70-some-odd years later..

After reading enough stories, I get that the hysteria in the wake of Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast was exaggerated. That said, the best exaggerations are the believable ones, and it was pretty easy to get why people would believe this one.

Instead of creating a straight adaptation of Wells' novel, Welles (this is going to get confusing) created something of a primitive found-footage style horror story, starting off the broadcast by pretending to be a show of dance music with periodic interruptions for news about strange happenings on the surface of Mars. Soon enough, the broadcast switches to a live remote about a strange object from the stars having fallen on the (real) small town of Grover's Mill, New Jersey. People are brought to the scene to report on this incident, and soon things start getting scary. It's clear that the object is no mere meteor, and soon something horrible emerges from it.

I'd give away more details, but I honestly think that this portion of the broadcast speaks for itself. I've embedded a copy of it below, don't feel obligated to listen to the whole thing, but please, if you have a few minutes, check out approximately minutes 13:00-18:30 for what are possibly five of the creepiest minutes of audio ever recorded.

It may just be me, but that brief moment of silence still gives me the chills.

Orson Welles was a master of showmanship. From his attempts at making this ludicrous story sound real, to timing the initial attack for the end of the most popular show on radio the next network over (when people would be changing their dials around), to his delightfully disingenuous apology after the fact ("don't believe everything you hear on radio"), he made the War of the Worlds into a fictional event whose power is yet to be rivaled and is still played on Halloween to this day. In doing so, he ensured himself a career as one of cinema's most decorated filmmakers, and as one of the world's greatest spokesmen for frozen peas.

And being that I'm a gigantic nerd, yes, I visited the monument in Grover's Mill, New Jersey, where the aliens were supposed to have landed when my wife and I took our epic, cross-country road trip. It's in one of the nicer smelling parts of the state.

So dear readers, has anyone else gotten creeped out by listening to War of the Worlds? Have any favorite alien moments in fiction? Sound off in the comments below!

And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!

Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor

-- Matt Carter

(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)

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Matt's End of Summer Favorites Part 2: Movies

Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 1, Flashman

Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 3, Homer Simpson

Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 4, Pat Healy (There's Something About Mary)

Matt's Top 5 Un-Romantic Characters # 5, The Beast

Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 1, The Thing

Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 2, The Twilight Zone - "The Invaders"

Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 3, Star Wars

Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 4, The Iron Giant

Matt's Top 5 Fictional Alien Moments # 5, Orson Welles' War of the Worlds

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