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-- Matt Carter
(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)
Hello everyone, and welcome back to my continuing countdown of some of the worst jobs that fiction has to offer (or real world jobs that fiction has made horrifying). Already we have discussed the perils felt by fictional Local Law Enforcement (# 5), fictional School Administrators (# 4), Stephen King Monsters (# 3), and Robin (# 2) but today we move on to a job that's pretty much sex, drugs and rock and roll (and death)... (and also, be sure to visit my wife's countdown on the same subject, visible here.) As a fan of the band and film, I must apologize for being unable to find the correct "n" when writing their name. HELP WANTED: Do you have any education in music? Can you play the drums? Do you love the rock and roll lifestyle? Do you have a death wish? Well, then consider applying to become a Spinal Tap Drummer! Drumming for this band is pretty much like living in one of these movies. PROS: You get to drum for a semi-successful heavy metal band and enjoy the accompanying lifestyle. Playing at all the great venues. CONS: This is going to be a shorter article than usual because there is only one con to drumming for Spinal Tap: you will die a premature death. If this were a trailer, this is where I'd insert the standard record scratch sound effect. Now, it's true, most rock bands have a fairly high mortality rate, especially when it comes to drummers, shedding an average of two members over the course of their career. This is normal. Over the course of its nearly fifty years of existence, Spinal Tap has had 18 regular drummers, all of whom have either died or disappeared without a trace and are presumed dead, leading to what can charitably be extrapolated as a 100% mortality rate. By comparison, you actually stand a chance of surviving being a counselor at Camp Crystal Lake. Though you have to be a virgin. And a girl. Still, you stand a better chance of surviving this job than drumming for Spinal Tap. Not only will you die, but odds favor you dying in some of the worst ways imaginable. Here's a sampling of some of the more bizarre and terrifying ways drummers have died over the years: JOHN PEPYS: Died in a bizarre gardening accident the police said was "better left unsolved". ERIC "STUMPY JOE" CHILDS: Choked to death on vomit of unknown origin. MICK SHRIMPTON: Exploded on stage. RICHARD SHRIMPTON: Sold his dialysis machine for drugs, presumed dead. SAMMY "STUMPY" BATEMAN: Died while trying to jump his tricycle over a tank of sharks during a traveling freak show. The list goes on. A few of these deaths could be considered expected, even normal, but eighteen is unacceptable and maybe even a little terrifying. This trend of deaths almost makes one wonder if this job isn't actually cursed in some way. Methinks he hoped for a music career that never quite panned out. So, do you think you could make it as a Spinal Tap Drummer? What is your favorite worst fictional job? Sound off in the comments! And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!
Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor -- Matt Carter (We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)
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Hello everyone, and welcome back to my continuing countdown of some of the worst jobs that fiction has to offer (or real world jobs that fiction has made horrifying). Already we have discussed the perils felt by fictional Local Law Enforcement (# 5), fictional School Administrators (# 4), and Stephen King Monsters (# 3), but today we move on to a job that many a kid would probably kill for, even though they really shouldn't... (and also, be sure to visit my wife's countdown on the same subject, visible here.) HELP WANTED: Are you an orphan with a grudge, or perhaps an underaged boy or girl (preferably boy) with poor impulse control who wouldn't mind becoming an orphan in the near future? Are you interested in a career that involves little to no sleep while attempting to capture some of the scariest and most dangerous criminals known to man? Would you like to wear short shorts and occasionally share a bed with a perennial bachelor with known, serious psychological problems? Tell me, old chum, do you like gladiator movies? Would you like to live in what is arguably the worst city on Earth and face death every waking moment of your life? Well then, consider a career as Robin! Warning: Your exploits may be adapted into a Joel Schumacher film. PROS: You get to work with Batman, widely regarded as the most awesome man on the planet (according to the internet). Sometimes referred to as "The Goddamn Batman". CONS: You have to work with Batman, a violent vigilante with obsessive tendencies and dangerous mood swings whose whims are often shaped by the times and the dark, repulsive underbelly of Gotham City, widely regarded as one of the worst cities on the planet. Not pictured: A great place to raise kids. Many young people have filled the role of Robin over the decades, and almost all of them were taken in as the ward of Bruce Wayne. He takes in emotionally damaged, if exceptionally skilled, young people (most of them nubile, teenaged boys with near identical physical features, which is not disturbing in the slightest) and trains them into living weapons with which to fight crime. Sure, there are occasional mentions of them going to school, but given the regular indoctrination speeches defending his lifestyle he gives and the violent training he puts every Robin through, this comes across more as him brainwashing damaged young people into following in his footsteps. As most of them are lacking a strong male role model in their lives, they are generally all too eager to follow this crimefighting lunatic. Just another night in the batcave. And let's consider the danger that this job entails. In addition to regularly being forced to track down and capture regular gun and knife toting criminals, Robin's duties often entail taking down some of Arkham Asylum's finest inmates, including but not limited to schizophrenic terrorist clowns, mutant cannibals and self-mutilating serial killers. To most people, Mr. Zsasz would be an episode of America's Most Wanted. To Robin, he is Thursday night's homework. The dangers of this job to Robin and everyone around him cannot be overstated. While Dick Grayson was famously an orphan when adopted as the first Robin, more Robins would follow who still had living parents, and almost all of them would be lost over time due to their child's job as Robin. Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown and Damien Wayne would all lose fathers, while Jason Todd would lose his mother. This, of course, is not ignoring the fact that two Robins (Jason Todd and Damien Wayne) have died in the line of duty. Well. Time to find a new Robin! Finally, I'd like to address the elephant in the room: This is not. A man. You want working with children. Methinks Wayne Manor needs a visit from a social worker. So, do you think you could survive being Robin? What is your favorite worst fictional job? Sound off in the comments! And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!
Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor -- Matt Carter (We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!) Hello everyone, and welcome back to my continuing countdown of some of the worst jobs that fiction has to offer (or real world jobs that fiction has made horrifying). Already we have discussed the perils felt by fictional Local Law Enforcement (# 5) and fictional School Administrators (# 4), but today we move on to a truly fantastical job that's not all it's cracked up to be... (and also, be sure to visit my wife's countdown on the same subject, visible here.) HELP WANTED: Are you a multi-powered demi-god of sorts, but not quite an actual demi-god (you're ancient and powerful but very vague about everything else) with a penchant for evil and a desire to terrorize and watch people suffer? Do you trade in madness and despair? Do you live in a world of poorly defined magical rules that can be made up on the fly and be used to defeat you? Do you like giving tangential psychic visions to people in a better effort to help them defeat you? Then consider becoming a Stephen King Monster! Dental plan not included. PROS: Well, aside from headlining a book (and eventual movie) by an award-winning and best-selling author, if you like dispensing evil, this is the place to be. Job perks include a small town to terrorize (generally in Maine, though expansions to Florida and Nevada have been known to happen) and a myriad of superpowers that are so ill-defined you can pretty much do whatever you want. Including being Ron Perlman. CONS: Sure, if you're unbelievably creepy and powerful, this really is the job for you. Unfortunately, being an agent of evil in a multiverse where God himself frequently cameos, you'll unfortunately have to face incredibly low job satisfaction rates as, by the end of your reign, you will certainly, mostly, lose (more on that mostly part later). Also, there's a good chance you might just be an evil hotel. Or an evil car. Or an evil laundry-folding machine. (Wait, what?) Or an evil lamp. Odds on if you're a monster in a Stephen King universe, you're a shapeshifting demigod of sorts with near infinite powers who usually takes on the appearance of an average-looking guy who may or may not be a clown, is usually quite charming and gives off an air of unease. While this can be cool, these types of powers will almost certainly come with some ridiculous weaknesses. Magic in the King universe is constantly shifting and can often be defeated by sheer force of will, where the people who are fighting against you just need to believe in themselves enough that they will be able to defeat you with some ease (often using random objects, like chunks of silver or cheap storebought magic tricks as deadly weapons). When you can be defeated by a motivational poster, you might want to reconsider your career choices. Furthermore, as a side effect of your unbelievable superpowers, you will almost certainly be giving off psychic vibes that, whether you like it or not, will give a ragtag group of ordinary citizens from the small town you claim as your dominion, probably led by an everyman writer, visions or prophetic dreams that will lead directly to your downfall. It's unfortunate, but it is unavoidable, because you are evil, and evil needs to be conquered. Which can lead to a this guy being defeated by... ...these kids. BONUS PRO: Remember how I said that you would only "mostly" lose? Well, this comes from the fact that if you're evil enough, you will never die. We're given a bunch of clues to believe that Pennywise isn't killed in It, Leland Gaunt opens up another shop in Needful Things, Christine somehow manages to put itself together again after going through a car compactor, Randall Flagg appears on an abandoned island somewhere at the end of The Stand, ready to greet his new followers... Probably these guys. So really, while you're bound to live out an eternity as an 80's Saturday morning cartoon villain, forever shaking your fist as you run away saying you'll get them next time, you'll live to fight and fright another day. So while you may not have the greatest job satisfaction, it will be reliable and steady work. Go ahead. Don't turn around. I'm totally not breathing down the back of your neck right now. So, do you think you could make it as a Stephen King Monster (please say no)? What is your favorite worst fictional job? Sound off in the comments!
And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back! Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor -- Matt Carter (We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!) Hello everyone, and welcome back to my continuing countdown of some of the worst jobs that fiction has to offer (or real world jobs that fiction has made horrifying). Already we have discussed the perils felt by fictional Local Law Enforcement (# 5), but today we move on to another noble profession that fiction has made quite unenviable... (and also, be sure to visit my wife's countdown on the same subject, visible here.) HELP WANTED: Do you have an interest in molding the minds of future leaders of the world? Do you enjoy being overworked, underappreciated and regularly stalked by monsters and madmen? Do you like the fact that, no matter how dedicated and earnest you may be, that you will always be the bad guy and constantly disrespected for just doing your job? Do you like being driven to the point of madness by young punk "rebels" who just don't understand what it takes to do your job? Well, consider a career as a School Administrator! It also helps if you can make this face at the drop of a hat. PROS: What could be more rewarding than teaching future generations? Sure, there are downsides to being any kind of school administrator, be it a principal or a dean, but day in, day out you will get the satisfaction of being part of a system that helps teach right and wrong to our children. Or monsters, as the case may be. CONS: You will always be the villain. Madness. Despair. Possible death. The need to make this face. It's a sad fact of life that, as a fictional school administrator, you will almost certainly be the bad guy. While there's always the chance that you might be the main character in an inspirational principal movie, odds are you'll be a side character in a teen comedy or inspirational teacher movie. Because of this, you will always be the authority figure trying to get in the way of a rebellious student's good time, or the one trying to hold back a maverick new teacher's teaching style that doesn't fit within state guidelines. It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, whether the student is skipping weeks of school at a time or if the teacher is kidnapping children and forcing them into a battle of the bands competition while teaching them about confidence, you will be the bad guy in these situations. Wait a minute, I'm watching over a detention with a kid who sexually assaulted another kid with tape, one who nearly burned down the school with a flare gun, and a violent criminal with a locker full of marijuana, and I'm the bad guy? As well, there is a higher than average rate of descending into madness while being a fictional school administrator. You see, there will always be one student, or student organization that will always go out of their way to press your buttons. Wanted for pranks, graffiti. Wanted for skipping school, being too cool for said school. Wanted for property destruction, underage drinking, statutory rape, theft of corpses for illicit purposes, inciting a citywide riot, murdering a horse and leaving its body in the dean's office... dear lord, how are these guys the heroes of the movie? And being that psychology does not work in your world as it does in the real world, instead of merely dealing with the problem, or just shrugging it off, you will soon begin to obsess over these malefactors with an intensity that would make Edgar Allen Poe or H.P. Lovecraft say "Hey man, maybe you're focusing on this just a *little* too much." This kind of obsession will transform you from a dedicated educator who just wants to see kids learn and not ditch school, to a lunatic guilty of breaking and entering to prove a kid is ditching school. I just can't get enough of this picture. And of course, if you're unfortunate enough to exist in a horror movie... You Will Almost Certainly Be Killed. Sorry, Fonzi. So, do you think you could make it as an 80's teen movie school administrator? What is your favorite worst fictional job? Sound off in the comments!
And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back! Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor -- Matt Carter (We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!) Hello everyone, welcome to November! It's a month for autumn, it's a month for pumpkin-based things, it's a month to be thankful for things (at least according to the greeting card industry, and if those guys don't know what they're talking about, I don't want to live on this planet anymore). Since I haven't got a lot of Thanksgiving-based television specials memorized enough to make a humorous list out of, Fiona and I decided we'd dedicate this month's list to what we're thankful for. Having been downsized from her current job, and with the job search itself taking longer than we would have hoped, we've decided to try to make the best of the situation and get a few laughs out of it by highlighting what we each think to be five of the worst jobs that fiction has to offer. Now, we're trying something a little different this month, heading out of our usual fandom comfort zones and trying to avoid some of the more clichéd jobs you'd normally find on these lists. So, apologies to Stormtroopers, Redshirts and Camp Crystal Lake Counselors everywhere! And Dharma Initiative Button Pushers. Sorry! So, sit back, relax, and be thankful that your job is probably better than most of the stuff on these lists. So, without further ado, let's get to # 5! (Also, please be sure to check out Fiona's list here.) HELP WANTED: Do you like, thrilling, adventurous work where your life is always on the line and a chief is always breathing down your neck? Do you like being sidelined whenever visiting experts from another jurisdiction come into town? Do you like the high probability that you will be killed by whatever rampaging monster/alien/serial killer/ghost/government experiment gone awry happens to wander into your small town? Well, consider a career in local law enforcement! Author's Note: I feel obligated to note that this article is in no way meant to malign actual law enforcement personnel who day in and day out prove themselves to be unquestionably heroes. No, this article is intended as a parody of how poorly treated they are in fiction, either by regularly transforming them into cannon fodder, having them constantly undermined, or being tremendously stupid. Or all three, like on Under the Dome which is an awful, awful show. As usual, I'll be treating this article with my usual tongue-thoroughly-in-cheek style, so please, read it accordingly. PROS: The thrill and self satisfaction of serving your community. You get a badge and a gun. The opportunity to meet strange, new people with plenty of interesting stories to tell. I'm sure he's got an interesting tale or two to tell! CONS: It all really depends on if you're a main character or if you're, well, not. A main character. Not a main character. If you're a main character, your problems are myriad. The chief/captain/mayor is always going to be breathing down your neck, wanting you to comply with local customs and holidays no matter how many lives are at risk. The only way to save the day usually will involve breaking these rules, which will in turn put your job at risk. Sorry, Al. Furthermore, there is always the problem of jurisdiction. No doubt, whatever problem is going to pop up in your movie/TV series/book is going to require some outside assistance. This will usually come in the form of an expert, usually in the form of the FBI, and they will almost universally be incompetent and won't be able to take care of the problem as well as you could have if it were left in your hands. On the plus side, once their incompetence shows through and they inevitably bite the big one, you can swoop back in to save the day. Of course, there won't be any parades in your honor, but you'll know you did the right thing. Looks like we're gonna need some more FBI guys. Be thankful this is the case, however. If the FBI prove to be far more knowledgeable and competent than you, you run the risk of being a non-main character, and if this proves to be the case, you are almost certainly going to die. If they suddenly show up, just remember to say goodbye to your wife and kids whenever you leave the house, just to be safe. Monsters and maniacs are notorious for killing non-main-character members of local law enforcement just to prove how powerful they really are. While there is a chance that you might survive, it isn't very good. The number of local cops killed throughout the run of The X-Files could fill a decent-sized phone book, and that's not counting fellow coroners, FBI agents and other support personnel. Don't even get me started on 80's horror. Still, it's not all bad. There's always a chance you could end up the main character, and the hero, with a loving wife and kids and nothing bad will ever happen to you. It could happen, right? Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead. So, do you think you could make it as local law enforcement in a piece of horror/scifi/action/80's fiction? What is your favorite worst fictional job? Sound off in the comments!
And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back! Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor -- Matt Carter (We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!) If you’ve been anywhere near either of our blogs within the past month and a half or so, you’re aware that Halloween is what we, Matt Carter and F.J.R. Titchenell, look forward to all year. We were engaged and married in consecutive Octobers, we’re year-round horror geeks, and during this season brimming with opportunities to share our macabre passion, we pull out all the stops to celebrate. But Halloween aficionados though we are, there’s always something left to surprise us. Together, we’ve compiled a list of twenty things we learned this Halloween, for your reference and enjoyment. Bonus tip: Don’t turn your head to the side for a zombie photo booth, it can’t read your face. 1. Do your research! Always check reviews for events to see if they're worth attending or fit your personal style. If an event is new, proceed with caution and consider attending *after* opening weekend, lest you attend the opening weekend for an event that's... less than great. (Having attended the disastrous opening weekend of The Purge: Fear the Night, this is not a lesson we will soon forget.) 2. Stretch! Some of these Halloween events are a lot more physically demanding than you'd think. Delusion: Masque of Mortality and the Queen Mary's Dark Harbor events had us sore for days afterwards after what we went through. Totally worth it, though. 3. If you're going to pay for a VIP experience, for the love of god don't lose your VIP guide! We went a little all out for Fi's birthday this year and did the VIP experience at Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights. Part of it involves a guided backlot tour, before being led into a couple of mazes. Well, half of our group apparently missed our guide and abandoned us, which meant by the end of the night our tour group had a mortality rate somewhere along the lines of an early Friday the 13th film. 4. Why let the scare actors have all the fun? One of my proudest moments this season happened at Halloween Horror Nights. Fi was off getting a drink in the VIP lounge, leaving me standing by a window. I saw the scare zone outside full of clowns chasing people down, including one twenty-something blonde girl who was cowering right by my window. Sensing an opportunity, I put my face right up against the glass and tried to look empty. She looked up, she saw me, she screamed. Life is good. 5. Front of the Line Passes are (almost) always worth the investment. The bigger events get packed, leading to lines in excess of two or three hours for some mazes. If you want to see everything, the only way you can do this is by getting front of the line upgrades. At Halloween Horror Nights and Dark Harbor this was worth the investment, however at Knott’s Scary Farm, where Front of the Line effectively meant doubling your ticket price, we decided to take our chances. Considering that this got us on 7 out of the 10 mazes (one of which we went through twice, because it was really awesome) and the train ride, I think it was a gamble worth taking. (Also, avoid the train ride on Halloween at Knott's. Boring.) Yeah, these events can get *insanely* packed. 6. For the most entertaining experience, try to position yourself around a group of teenage girls. They scream loud and up the fun. Bonus points if you can do this without looking like a creep! We sat near a group of teenage girls with hair-trigger scream responses during the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride, and came off better for it I think. I mean, our ears bled for a few days and my shins were bruised all to hell when one of them kept instinctively kicking me, but it was worth it. 7. As a female attendee, if a Halloween haunt isn’t scary enough, you can go for bonus points by burying your face in a guy’s jacket. This is the universal signal for every monster in range to pay you special attention. Better yet, if possible (as it is at the Haunted Hayride), lie back into his lap. Done right, this serves the double purpose of marking you as a target and heightening the sense of physical vulnerability. What passes for a cheap startle when you’re upright or curled into a ball can be downright terrifying when you’re off balance with your neck and other soft bits facing up. It’s a silly biological response, but it works. 8. Don't discount local haunts! Local haunted houses may not have the budget or skill of professional haunts, but can still have their charms, and can have surprising quality. South Pasadena's Theatre of Terror event this year looked cheap and cheesy on paper, but in practice was comparable with anything we experienced at Knott's Scary Farm. 9. Startle responses are surprisingly easy to reprogram. While we were unable to restrain all expletives when the scares were good, even when sincerely trying, a combination of dares, jokes, creative friends, and the presence of small children had us blurting out everything from “Hello sailor!” to “Go, Diego, Go!” in a few moments of terror. 10. The insides of abandoned, reportedly haunted ships can get really dark! At the Queen Mary's Dark Harbor Halloween event, three of the six mazes take place within the bowels of the ship itself. Two of them, Hellfire and Submerged, have long stretches that take place in near pitch-darkness. While most on-land mazes you'll find have some ambient light sneaking in, here you could not see your hand in front of your face much of the time. The monsters seemed to quite enjoy this, as in one dark corridor, one snuck up to within six inches of my face and screamed at the top of his lungs. I fell back, on my ass, and since Fiona was holding my hand hard, she went down with me. 11. Fear of limited visibility need not involve darkness. One of the five mini-mazes that made up the “freak show” at the Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor had nothing in it but lights and fog too thick to see your hand in front of your face. It was one of the more memorable moments of a wonderful and terrifying night. 12. Mechanical bulls (and mechanical monsters alike, as the one at Dark Harbor was called) spin really, really fast. This elicited a different kind of scream from the rest of the event. 13. When falling off a mechanical monster try falling off to the side. Falling off to the front can end badly. Almost one week later, my back is still killing me. I could tell you this ended well, but I'd be lying. 14. Impressive things are possible when adrenaline, alcohol, and good old competitive stubbornness all gang up against the pain response and other self-preservation mechanisms. The duration of the subsequent soreness correlates directly with the impressiveness of the thing. Yes, this relates again to our performances on the mechanical monster. While Matt took the challenge sober, the combination of the other two factors was still enough to require muscle healing for several days. I did not know this guy was behind me. I soon found out. 15. It’s simply not practical to find official non-clubbing Halloween events that welcome both costumes and childless adults, let alone costumes on childless adults. Okay, we knew this one already, but it took a while to come to terms with. Thankfully, the fortunate timing of Comikaze Expo here in LA does welcome this very necessary combination and saves us the trouble of stealing other people’s children to trick-or-treat with. 16. White tights are also surprisingly difficult to find. You’d think they’d be in every clothing and shoe store, if only for ballerinas, but you’d be wrong. I had to get them at a costume store to feel secure in my Harley Quinn mini-dress. (Before anyone conjures any unseemly images, this is a Fi tip). 17. Pumpkins should not be left in the trunk of a car longer than necessary. No, we don’t have a picture of the moldy explosion that taught us this lesson. Just don’t do it. 18. It’s just about impossible to find carveable white pumpkins. While we’ve seen lots of pictures of round white pumpkins, the white pumpkins sold in the stores near us were all of a squat, flat variety so dense they require a hatchet to open. Literally, we used an actual hatchet. There. Much better. 19. Once open, these white pumpkins look, smell, and taste curiously like cantaloupes. 20. Be fearless. You get a better experience from these events the more you throw yourself into one. If they ask for volunteers, volunteer away! If you see something scary, scream your head off! The monsters will appreciate your enthusiasm and your delicious, delicious screams. Of course, there is such a thing as being too enthusiastic. Please do not hurt the monsters. They work very hard, and do not care for the abuse, and you don't want to take the chance that this is the one time that a guy actually dressed like a deranged lunatic will snap and decide to remove your skin with a cheese grater. Anyone else do anything fun and unique this Halloween? Have your own tips to share? Sound off in the comments!
And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back! Facebook: http://facebook.com/mattcarterauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/MCarterAuthor -- Matt Carter (We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!) |
AuthorMatt Carter is an author of Horror, Sci-Fi, and yes even a little bit of Young Adult fiction. Along with his wife, F.J.R. Titchenell, he is represented by Fran Black of Literary Counsel and lives in the usually sunny town of San Gabriel, CA. Archives
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