"The Citizen Kane of Bad Movies."
"Like stabbing yourself in the head with an ice pick."
"What the hell was that and why did you make me watch it?"
How wrong we were. Our senses were accosted and violently mugged by this drug trip of a movie, making a 100 minute viewing experience feel eons longer. The bizarre tonal shifts, the random, non-sensical dialogue, the plot points that are brought up to be immediately forgotten, they were nothing like our writer's minds had ever seen. We could not compute. Sitting through this movie the first time felt like running a marathon. We were beat. We were spent. And we had never laughed harder. Indeed, Mario was right, this movie was life-changing. Once it has been seen, it can never be unseen.
Then there was my dad.
Having raised me on his own since I was 2 (mom passed away far too soon), we've become something like best friends. He's introduced me to a lot of the great pieces of pop culture that have influenced my life, and in turn I have tried to do the same to him since. Some were resounding successes (Inglourious Basterds), others... not so much (Yes, I'm talking about The Room). My wife and I inflicted it upon him one weekend ages ago. He was game to try "the worst movie ever made", and he did laugh through much of it, while shooting me bizarre, confused looks for the rest. We never spoke of it again until a moment a few months back where I casually mentioned it in passing, when I got this gem out of him:
"Matt, I love you more than anything, but nothing you could say or do would ever make me sit through that piece of shit again."
The Room, so powerful it can overcome love itself.
Dressed in costume, as is customary (me in a tuxedo t-shirt, Fi in Lisa's slutty red dress), we attended this showing, even getting up on stage briefly for a meet and greet with Wiseau and Sestero. They left interesting impressions. Sestero is one of the nicest guy's you'll meet, as he spent much of his time apologizing to us and comparing the oddities we were seeing that evening with a day on the set. Wiseau was everything you would expect. He looked and moved like a vampire. He said non-sensical things in response to any question asking for details about his personal life. He initiated a contest to see who could toss a half-full water bottle across the front of the stage the most times. His hand shake felt like you were shaking a corpse's hand (not that I've shaken a corpse's hand, but it's what I imagine one to be like). It was a truly surreal experience, and everything you'd want from meeting this living legend.
Then came the movie. While I wasn't up to par on knowing the film's injokes like all the other fans at the time, I like to think I kept up well with the rest of the audience. I screamed, I heckled, I even had a few jokes unique to myself get laughs. It was truly one of the most memorable experiences of my adult life.
So, dear readers, does anyone else a fan of The Room? Anybody else have some guilty pleasure pop culture favorites? Sound off in the comments below!
And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into liking/following back!
-- Matt Carter
(We know there's a lot of Matt Carter's online you could spend your time with, so thanks for hanging around this one!)