I guess this requires some explanation.
A friend of mine, Mario Lanza (one of the funniest guys alive, in this humble author's opinion), had been spreading the word about The Room for some time before I truly knew its greatness.
And our lives were changed.
Watching this movie for the first time is like a surreal drug trip of hilarity. People don't talk or act as they should. Plotlines are introduced to be immediately forgotten moments later, which is impressive because some of them do seem quite important. Half of the movie is made of stock footage establishing shots, another quarter from poorly-choreographed softcore sex scenes. All of this is led by director/writer/lead actor Tommy Wiseau, who is clearly quite mad and desperate to convince everyone that he is an average American Joe, when he looks, sounds and acts like he only recently came to Earth after intercepting an intergalactic transmission of one of Ed Wood's movies and thinking, "Hey, I think I can do this movie-making thing too! That's the idea!"
I have made it my goal in life to share with everyone I know the greatness of this movie, so, all terrible rambling aside, let me share with you, dear readers, 10 of my favorite things about The Room.
Once this has been seen, it can't be unseen.
2. Claudette's Admission
CLAUDETTE: I got the test results back - I definitely have breast cancer.
LISA: Don't worry about it, mom. They're curing people all the time.
CLAUDETTE: Oh, I know.
This plotline is never mentioned again. Fiona and I like to believe that this is due to Claudette being a pathological liar and people have learned to ignore her.
3. The 90's Sex Scene Music
My leading theory? They killed Chris-R offscreen and disposed of his body and vowed to never speak of it again (since this subplot never comes up again in the course of the movie). This in turn leads to the dissolving of their friendship.
Like I said, this is a deep movie.
As stated earlier, the rooftop of the apartment building this magical film takes place in was actually a set on a soundstage with a green screen providing the skyline. This provides a rather interesting goof, as the orientation of this stairway, which clearly goes down to the left, would actually end just outside the building, presumably sending characters to their death every time they try to go downstairs. In the universe of The Room, this makes perfect sense, and is probably expected.
JOHNNY: I cannot tell you, it's confidential.
MARK: Aw, come on, why not?
JOHNNY: No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life?
JOHNNY: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did naaaaaaaaaaaaaht! Oh, hai Mark!
MARK: Yeah, man, you'll never know. People are very strange these days. I used to know a girl; she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it... beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.
JOHNNY (laughing hysterically): What a story, Mark!
JOHNNY: I have a serious problem with Lisa. Um, I don't think she's faithful to me. In fact, I know she isn't.
JOHNNY: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!
JOHNNY: How can they say this about me? I don't believe it. I show them. I will record everything.
(At Johnny's birthday party.)
JOHNNY: Thank you, honey, this is a beautiful party! You invited all my friends. Good thinking!
Still, consider yourself warned.
If you now need a palette cleanse after this madness, please check out my 10 Random Things I Love About Jurassic Park and 10 Random Things I Love About Back to the Future lists. These are much better movies. And if you've seen The Room, please sound off in the comments with your favorite moments & quotes! I know I only just scratched the surface with mine!
And as always, please drop me a line on Facebook or Twitter! I'm big into